Monday, May 01, 2017

Stop Politicizing Education!!!!

Recently, a certain minister made a very intelligent remark regarding not to award JPA scholarship to people who do not support the current government.

Today, I saw a post of a Malaysian Chinese female whose name was Lam Shu Jie. She obtained straight As was but denied scholarship from Malaysia. Long story short, other countries awarded her scholarships and is currently valuable in research field globally. I would like to ask the person who post this a question: What do you expect from posting such news?

Government politicizing education is nothing new. Years ago, Mahathir introduced PPMSI and I was one of the lucky "guinea pigs" who got to enjoy the privilege. In 2013 however, some smart-ass minister (forgot his name because he wasn't important enough to be stored in my aging brain cells) decided to revert back to PPMSBM. (Totally irrelevant but this is how the word "revert" should be used - returning something into an original state. NOT TO BE USED IN EMAILS TO ASK THE READER TO REPLY. TAKE NOTE.) Reason? Results dropped because the majority did not understand English. Real reason? Afraid Malaysians lupa daratan. See? An example of politicizing education in the name of protecting their hollow shells.

I was one of the victims of this. Back in 2008, I obtained my 2007 SPM result. 9A1s and 2A2s. According to my reliable source, co-curriculum accounts only 10% of decision-making when it comes to giving away scholarships. By right, the main decision-making factor would be meritocracy. Extras such as co-curriculum, parents' income (who is poorer), and even race should be secondary in case there are too many straight A students. I think the order of priority for decision-making should go like this:

Straight A1s -> straight As -> A1 for required subject -> parents' income -> co-curriculum -> race priority

The government, however, decided to put race as the top priority.

Let's take a look at my case here.

Scholarship applied: Engineering overseas (because I was pretty good at Chemistry so I naively thought Chemical Engineering was my thing)
Straight A1 = X
Straight As = /
A1 for required subjects = / (A1 for English, Maths, English for Science and Technology (pretty useless but normally an extra A1 subject for me as it was pretty easy to score back then but wait, it is not that useless after all because of the existence of PPMSI hahahaha forgive my ignorance), Add Maths, Science, Physics, Chemistry)
Parents' income = / (I put RM1500 at tax-filing section)
Co-curriculum = Considered / (I got borderline A because I was a prefect, an active member in RC, a secretary for Interact and represented my school for random essay-writing competitions so bolehlah)
Race = X (Chinese mah)

As a result, I studied Form 6 and scored a borderline 3 for my CGPA in STPM (although in most universities, the number of As matter WHYYY). I was bitter because of the stupid politics set up by the government. Silly me. I should have gotten over my bitterness and studied harder back then.

Look at people like Lam Shu Jie. Was she bitter? No, she wasn't. She seek for opportunities elsewhere and she is currently going somewhere. She did not let government's fucked-up politics screwed her up. Yes, it is a sad thing that many talent migrated elsewhere. Yes, it is sad to see brain drain happening in Malaysia.

Which is why, people in Malaysia who is currently bitter in Malaysia, do not give in to the government's political strategy to break Malaysians. Our government may be fucked up, but Malaysia is not. You can expand your horizons elsewhere and be somebody, but do not let the government affect you. Remember to vote even if you are shaping your fame in another country. Look at Datuk LCW. His talent unites us Malaysians even if it is only during the finals. Look at Dato Michelle Yeoh. She is now an international actress. Look at Jimmy Choo. He did not begin his designing career in Malaysia. But he still makes Malaysia proud. Be that someone who goes out of Malaysia, be successful and then do something to improve Malaysia. Be that someone who stays in Malaysia, make peace with other Malaysians and try to improve Malaysia from within.

Do not let the government win by feeling bitter towards those who did not obtain any scholarship after getting straight As for SPM. The government wants to divide us so that we are not united enough to overthrow them. Do not fall for that. Stay united, believe in change and topple the government so that we can create an ideal education. We can change the entire Ministry of Education by letting educators take over those corrupted ministers' places.

But for now, please do not feel bitter because the government has long politicizing our education. Go against that. If government do not want young Malay students to be proficient in English, we help those young Malay students to improve their English. Even urban students suffer to be honest, despite them being smacked right in the middle of the city. Government teachers who continue striving out there, good job. Give those urban poor free tuition when we are free, if we can.

By the way, I have not mentioned the result of fucked up education. You see, many young Malaysians today cannot even speak proper English. They cannot differentiate "revert" and "reply" in emails. Take a look at King CoCo. She is disguising her broken English in her accent. Actually, there are many Malaysians I know who do that (not as bad as CoCo though). Educated Malaysians I mean.

I shall stop ranting. I have not been writing for a long time. I miss writing.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Experiencing Divorce

This scenario is entirely fictional but it is based on a true story of what is happening around us.

Have you ever feel that way when your parents just announce their decision to divorce and you are torn in between both of them? Choosing either one of them will not be good for you because you will lose either one of them.

Your father is an asshole who only knows how to dig into your piggy bank whenever he feels the need to splurge even though he already has more than what he needs. When you can no longer give him that much money, he will start exploiting whatever talent you have. If you are good at singing, he will make you go to every single pub to perform and yet all the pay will end up in his pocket. If you are good-looking, he will make you a prostitute and sell you off to as many rich tycoons and as many times as possible until the rich tycoons will start getting tired of you and asked your father whether he has anymore daughters or not. If you own a weird insurance of RM2.6bil (kononnya a gift from your father's friend) and you can only withdraw it when you are injured, your father will think of ways to take those amount of money (by injuring you) and then put it inside his personal account, and then said that it was a donation from his personal friend, which is to fund your education. Doesn't sound like someone whom you would like to stay with right?

That leaves you with your mother. Your mother kept convincing you to follow her by reasoning out all the bad things your father had done to you. Every day, she kept reminding you about how much of an asshole your father is. Following your mother sounds very convincing as she has a stable job, thus being able to support your needs. However, your mother's fund is pretty much limited as compared to your father, and she may not be able to support your tertiary education. Maybe she could, if she tried. Then, you heard rumours that your mother may not be as nice as you thought. Rumours about your mother's alleged affair with unknown man has been circulating around, and it sounded like your mother was trying to make your father looked very bad so that she could cover her affair and thus able to gain half of your father's property after the divorce. She may want to win you so that she could obtain the alimony. It may not be true, but the possibility is there.

This boils down to: Then who should you follow?

Maybe you should just get yourself adopted to someone else instead. Just a thought.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Haze and Pollution

"Pollution happened because human beings tried to play being God by creating magic using God's creations." Yes I came up with this quote.

The climate changes faster than me changing clothes. I know it's absurd but unfortunately, it is true. I don't even know what kind of weather can I expect anymore. Flood last month in Kuching and now it is very hot in KL. Not to mention how early the haze season came this year (I thought it was usually during August-ish?).

I truly detest going out to the city each day and ended up coming home all dirty and sticky. The city is so dirty that one would appreciate showers a lot.

I can't even write a long blog post because of the hot weather and the amount of haze I'm breathing in.

Sunday, February 07, 2016

One Step At A Time

I have this pet peeve of revisiting scars. Some things should have just ended years ago.

I'm still trying to stand at my own two feet. Still adjusting to discover my true self. Still trying to resist picking the scabs of my wounds that should have been left as scars.

I still go to bed feeling empty, no matter how tired I was prior to heading to bed.

I still have doubts that I can be loved, and deserve to be truly loved. Somehow I always feel there is something that stops me from being loved.

Am I doomed to be content towards being single until the end of time?

I had a dream of writing a book upon finding my uttermost happiness. I had a dream of drawing out the sweetest feeling, sweeter than a candy once I tasted the bliss. I always believed that I could feel that way if I found my other half which brings happiness to another level. But slowly I have to learn to accept that there can be no one but myself to bring joy upon myself. 

Until then, I shall enjoy feeling happy from other ways possible.

Until then, I will always ask myself this one question: Is finding the right person who loves you deeply madly truly for who you are, naked inside out the uttermost happiness in your life?

I forgot when is the last time I ever smiled so sweetly I could feel the corners of my mouth near my ears.

Cool, blue emotions painting my soul despite the bright sunny day.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Random Thoughts, Thoughts and Thoughts

I woke up with a sharp pain on my right ear and yet was all dressed up to work. In the midst of the crowd inside the LRT, I suddenly realized that I should not go to work at all. On one side I could hear the sharp noise from the railway, while on the other side the noise was so sharp that I could feel the pain stabbing into my ear. Despite the pain, I heard nothing. I got scared. I panicked. I quickly WhatsApped my colleagues and manager, informing them that I would be getting a sick leave on that day. So many thoughts were swarming inside my head that morning. What if I was late for medical consultation that I might become deaf? What if I became deaf because of something unknown that happened to my ear? Do I need to learn sign language? Is sign language difficult? Will I lose my job once I become handicapped?

Long story short, I had my MC after consulting the doctor nearby my workplace and then thrown to Gleneagles like a ball for specialist check-up (ear very sensitive you know), and got my medicine so I am currently half-deaf.

Anyway, this is my first time taking an MC after three months of work (I broke my record HAHAHA). I went to work despite falling sick twice ok! Hence, I was not really used to staying at home on weekdays. Thankfully I had fever because of my infected ear so I spent most of my day sleeping away.

During the time I was not sleeping though, I did a lot of thinking. A LOT. I let my mind ran around and wandered away. I was thinking:

1. I love my family and I am a nerd. Thus, I am surrounded with family-oriented nerds who happened to be my colleagues. I was expecting the super-open, slightly badass oil and gas players like those whom I met in the clubs in Miri back then. But then they are so family-oriented and they were such good boys (mama's boys)! I can't help thinking how adorable those little boys are sometimes (yes ALL the colleagues in my HSE Engineer department are males). The "you are surrounded by who you are" thing exists. LOL.

2. Contrary to popular belief, the Malays that I knew at my workplace were liberal and rational. One would have expect that they are so sensitive that everything must be halal, only their opinions are entitled and no one else's bla3, they think they are superior and other races/religions are not and they are radicals. Don't believe everything on media. Even though they love spicy food, sing Malay song all the time and often eat with hands as depicted on media, they know what is right and what is wrong. They know when to defy the norm with logic instead of going with the flow, especially those senior managers and heads. And please, speaking with them, eating spicy food with hands and karaoke-ing Malay songs with them do not make me a Malay. Likewise, them speaking Chinese (I have a few colleagues who spoke Chinese fluently, sometimes even more fluent than myself *embarrassed*) and expressing their attraction to Chinese people do not make them Chinese. To start living harmoniously, please get rid of the "don't leave your roots" mentality.

3. I hate KL road system and transport. When I got off the LRT station at Jelatek, there is no taxi stand or any place for waiting. I had to call MyTeksi and asked the taxi driver to pick me up at the main road. And the main road is a highway LEH!!! Please, please, Malaysians, please improve your own knowledge and skills. No wonder our ministers are huge mistakes.

4. Speaking of knowledge and skill, my deepest regret was not to study much harder during university days when I had the chance. I was so engrossed with the fact that "to secure a job in an MNC, you need to fulfill CGPA of 3.5 and able to demonstrate leadership skills". Yeah thanks, because of that I was so focused on trying to obtain a CGPA of 3.5 instead of obtaining the knowledge which is worth the 3.5 of CGPA. Up till today, I felt that my knowledge in engineering was inadequate. Implementing process safety in engineering design? How and what? Master control in all engineering designs so that we do not need to control the little things anymore? Then what if the master control breaks down and there is no redundancy? But isn't redundancy of the master control itself difficult to replicate and may be even more complex as well? What am I even thinking? And process integration, is RAPID considered process integration? Or not? By integrating everything into one space, have one considered how to manage all the wastes? Will managing waste costlier than using more energy to recycle waste? From one process to another? Won't that contribute more to carbon footprint? I WANT TO TAKE MASTERS DEGREE CAN KAH BUT I NO MONEY NOW HOW?

5. I mentioned earlier about "fullfill 3.5 CGPA and demonstrate leadership skills". Do you know that not having adequate leadership skills but scoring a CGPA of 4.00 can also secure you a job in an MNC technically? Well at least in my company, technical people are highly prized. It's not easy to be technically capable you see. I always admire those who are technically capable. They know many things and those solutions they suggested were not merely bullshitting, but were backed up with their knowledge and experience. No offence, but nowadays people are so engrossed with sharpening their presentation skills that they basically forgot about sharpening their technical knowledge and common sense. You cannot be a bookworm and sacrifice common sense, but at the same time you cannot be a good marketer and sacrifice knowledge. Even if you sound like a boring nerd, if the words you spoke make total sense, then you are an asset. Not creative in presenting your ideas? Make use of young interns or fresh graduates. Let them play with your solutions and ideas while presenting them in a most creative manner possible. That way, they can learn more about the technical knowledge while sharpening their creativity at the same time. What I'm trying to say is, it's okay to be a nerd. If you cannot speak like a lawyer but at the same time you have a brain of a professor, just let it be. I admire those who speak words of substances more than those who sounded super convincing and yet only bullshitting away.

6. I'm still at my crossroads of my career. What will I be in 10 years' time? Is this job the right job for me?

7. At what age should I start investing in property? And where? Bintulu? High likely I will be going to Bintulu (MLNG extension and because upstream definitely tak boleh pakai and also because I am a Sarawakian so MLNG prefers Sarawakian). Or Miri? Or Kuching? Or KL? But I don't like living in KL. Transport itself is a huge turn off already. Not to forget everything in KL is mega expensive. And please, doing spontaneous plans in KL is a BAD IDEA. But I am investing, not permanently living right. I haven't found a place where I actually want to stay there until I die so perhaps properties are only investments for me as at now. Maybe in a year's time? Maybe two?

8. So sad that I have to live life like a poor, thrifty auntie. LRT trip to work costs me RM2.80 one way; budget taxi queue at my condo area costs me RM1.50 one way. Everything multiply by two meaning I spent RM8.60 per day for transport. Previously I only spent RM7.00. RM1.60 increase per day is, a lot. I also want to save money for travels, property investments, retirement fund etc leh? Hence, I have no choice but to resort to cooking daily. Sad life it is. Not to mention how expensive groceries are nowadays. I spent an average of RM50 weekly on groceries (I only buy meat like once a month; itu pun chicken only).

9. Why is growing up so difficult? I should just find a rich man who already owns properties and stable financial status and marry him. But then my ego got better of me and I want to earn my own money and pay for my own bills. At least now I am paying for my own bills and managed to give some to my family.

10.I don't want my life to grow old so fast. Continue to give thrills to others and to feel the excitement in my life. Even after I'm 30.

11. How come I haven't been exercising?

That's all that I think of on a day's leave (sick leave mind you).