"Judging does not define those being judged; it defines those who judge."
I come to like this saying. It is indeed true, for every person's story, there is no one else who knows it except the person who actually experiences it. The story told by the first person is the most accurate, but not the story told by the third person. This is because the story told by the third person is mostly based on the third person's point of view, instead of the first person who experienced it. Hence, one cannot really trust the third person's story, unless the person is a narrator who narrates fictions. Since every person in this world is different, hence every story told by every third person differs by their perspective.
Let me narrate this example for a clearer view. A woman of my age (I am twenty-two this year for your information) bringing two children of ages one and three respectively to a grocery store. The first witness of this incident may thought that the woman had two children at a very tender age. Meanwhile, the second witness of this incident may not think so. Instead, that person may thought of her as a sister instead of a mother of these two children. Well, who knows? The third witness may not agree with the first and the second witness, and thought of her as the babysitter instead. The fourth witness may thought of her as a social worker. The fifth witness, with its own perspective, may thought that the woman was kidnapping those two and bringing them to grocery. Well, the possibility is endless. But do these possibilities really tell the relationship between the woman and the children? No. Instead, it reflected what kind of person are the respective witnesses. Why? Since everyone is different, and nobody other than the woman knows the true story behind the incident, so all they can do is to assume, and then based on their own way of thinking, they judge.
The thing that I want to bring out today is not only about judging, but also how wrong it is. To be frank, every third person of every story has no right to judge, unless they fully know the story of the first person in the story. It is human nature not to put themselves into others' shoes but to judge simply based on their way of thinking. Sad, but true. They are not aware that they are in no position to judge the first person of the story, because they do not experience it at all. They are just witnesses.
Why do I say it is wrong to judge? Judging often leads to another thing, which is gossiping. Gossips eventually lead to rumours, which mostly tarnish one person's namesake, or more often, speaks out a person's personality not based on themselves, but based on the mouths of other people. It is a sad thing to see so many celebrities' reputation being depraved for nothing, because of the stories made up by the paparazzi. And whose fault is it to be blamed? The paparazzi, but not entirely, because they are just earning a living.
Then who should we put an accusing finger to? Has anyone studied economics? The basic of economics is "There is supply only when there is demand". Just like prostitution (I know it is a terrible example but hey, it is the oldest profession in the world, and sad to say it is still standing strong), the rumour-turned-news all started from the dirty thoughts of the readers of the magazine. It is sad to say that most readers often seek out for negative rumours regarding the celebrities. And where do all these come from? Judgement, of course.It all comes back to judgement. Just because a celebrity wears a bareback turtleneck which shows her cleavage, that does not mean she is a slut. Just because HyunA played sexy (terribly sexy) roles in music videos, particularly Trouble Maker and Bubble Pop, that does not mean she is cheap and skanky. Just because a woman aged 22 is bringing two young children into a grocery store does not mean she is their mother. And lots more.
Hence, for every witness, when you see a woman bringing two children to a grocery store, do not judge, which will be followed by story telling to another person, which will eventually become a rumour and thus ruining her reputation. No one but her knows the true story. Instead, with no judgement in your head, start be a kind neighbour and go help her. She not only brings children, she also has to carry groceries. Show your kindness to your neighbours instead of judging.
p/s: It has been a while since I last wrote an essay. Have I gone rusty? LOL.
