Sunday, March 25, 2018

Significance of Good Friday

Lent is ending and Good Friday is approaching.

For a person who got closer to the world of Christianity (and still attempting to get even closer) only years after baptism and rigorously memorizing Bible verses, I find that people somewhat glorified Christmas more than Good Friday, which was the very reason how Christianity existed. I received snide remarks regarding Christians as sadistic hypocrites who glorify a man's death. Little did they know that the death was birth of everything else in this world.

Allow me to explain, so please hold your guns. For non-believers, I always believe in freedom of will, so you can always choose to disagree.

Throughout the stories in Old Testament, we read stories about the vital characters, themselves and nothing but themselves and how much God gave them (wisdom, wealth, kingdom, power, life, miracles), only asking for His people to glorify Him in return. These were the typical stories of what God can give and how much can a person take but not give in return. How people sin and become greedier and greedier despite God giving everything they asked for. Human nature. In fact, all God have ever asked for in return was obedience.

Then enter Jesus. He was just like any other man out there. Born in a manger out of wedlock by a Mary who claimed to be virgin. A plausible story could be her stating that to avoid being stoned/ostracized as she was engaged to Joseph, as she was possibly raped and at that time, the society was a full-fledged misogyny to the core so regardless of whether she was raped or not, no one there was to save her. It could be God's way of creating such way to give birth to Jesus. Then again, we cannot deny that God is capable of creating miracles (Sarah giving birth to Isaac at the age of 90) so she really could be conceived as a virgin from a holy seed planted in her womb.

Then the story started to sound different from here. Suddenly, the story focuses on how Jesus gave everyone else without asking for anything in return. He performed miracles out of the blue like walking on the water. He fed five thousand people with a few small fishes and several loaves of bread. He healed a blind man by simply spitting on the soil and rubbed it into the man's eyes. He taught people the proper God's teachings on how to become a better person instead of embroiling themselves deeper into a pit of greed and all other deadly sins because I lazy want to list them all here. He healed a man with leprosy while others avoided him like a plague. And the list goes on. Long story short, the story of a man named Jesus focused on how much He gave the people instead of how much God gave Him.

While He was alive, He taught us unconditional love. He taught us on values to become a better person and to be closer to God. He healed the sick and fed the hungry. He defended a woman who was accused of adultery when everyone else condemned her for it, by reminding us that all of us are sinners and we are no less better than her. He washed His disciples' feet and fed them with bread and wine, when it was usually the other way round.

Yet, people still sin. People still stray away from God.

So, Jesus ultimately gave us His final gift because all us humans were stubborn creatures. He gave us His own life. He gave us His own life in a most degrading manner possible, which was to die as a criminal. Jesus was wrongfully framed by the Pharisees for a crime He did not commit and was sentenced to death unjustly. I know, at one part he cried out, "Father, why have you forsaken me?". This was from someone who gave and gave and did nothing but giving everything yet God allowed Him to die.

Jesus died because of a crime He did not commit. It was how He died without committing a single sin. Jesus was born as a perfect man without sin. All He did was to give. Yet God did not perform miracles on Him when he was unjustly sentenced to death, by crucifixion. Why God gave everything to those characters in Old Testament when all they did was to take, but did nothing to save Jesus?

Because Jesus had to die. He had to go through a life as a perfect man, only to be killed for a crime he never commit. Ladies and gentlemen, this was how Jesus died shouldering all our sins even though he never commit a single sin throughout his life. It was a painful decision for God to make. To ultimately create a man in a most perfect form. Since men are created based on mirror image of God, then Jesus must be created based on mirror image of perfect God. Therefore, whatever He did was whatever exactly God himself would do should he be a human instead of a god. That was how a human being, although looking like all of us, was capable of giving and giving, be it miracles or valuable teachings, without asking anything else in return. Jesus was God Himself in the form of a man.

Alas, men being men, were too self-absorbed to see all these. They were so focused on themselves that they could not see that God was with them all the time, or more specifically, God's son, since that said son was born out of a normal human being's womb. God, not knowing anymore what to do, had Jesus carrying out His final mission, which was to sacrifice himself. By letting Himself being unjustly sentenced by the Pontius Pilate, who was afraid of the people out there, God was essentially letting us see how human beings were so afraid of losing their own side of humanity - sin that they abandoned God. Pontius Pilate's action was what most of the people did, which was to abandon God so that they can remain humanly and full of sins. Jesus, a perfect man, who had zero sin in him, had to bear trillions of sins so that the rest of the human beings are free of sins. That way, they can only find their way back to God.

The part where Jesus cried about being forsaken by His father showed us the consequences of sin. By allowing ourselves to be filled with sins, we are getting further away from God. Because Jesus had never sin before, He have always been connected to God. However, right before He died, God left him because of all the trillion sins He was bearing.

Needless to say, Jesus died. I do not know why He died on a Friday. Based on my own theory though (can always disagree with me!), since God created the world in six days, I assume that man and woman was created on the sixth day. So Jesus died on the fifth day, the day before man was created. Jesus had to die on the day before man was created so that a new, sinless man can be created and reborn again. And this is baptism, to die as a sinful person and reborn as a sinless person who accepted Christ as his/her saviour. I am not sure on the auspicious date for baptism though, as I am not entirely knowledgeable regarding the timeline and all.

I believe as a Christian, Jesus has already created the bridge between us and God. And that is when us Christians can feel God's presence around us. As a Christian, it is important for us to recognize the sins and avoid it however possible because sin is what drives us away from God. Never let Jesus' sacrifice be in vain, so that is why Good Friday is so significant to every Christians.

Of course, there are times when we question our faith, with myself included. We are after all, just ordinary human beings who wants to receive. Like how in relationships where a man and a woman need to voice out each other's insecurity, we should voice out our shaken faith to God and pray for Him to guide us back to Him.

Throughout this essay, the one vital drive that brings Good Friday is none other than love. Quote 1 Corinthians 13:13, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Jesus was an embodiment with these three things; love overpowers the other two though. Jesus had faith that human beings will someday turn back to God, which was why he never stopped giving and teaching. Jesus often hoped that people will acknowledge Him as God because clearly He was made in the image of God and performing miracles as a God. But most of all, Jesus loved us all that He had to die for us so that we finally notice Him and go back to Him.

Because nothing speaks louder than love when someone keeps giving and being taken advantage of, yet continues giving without getting anything back in return.

And this is Godly love.

Amen.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Penning Down 500 Days of Summer's Thoughts

Watched and rewatched 500 Days of Summer at different phase of life. I did not like it previously because it strayed away from the happily-ever-after usual. I like it currently though, because it reflects a part of growth in our lives.

We have been Tom before. Undeniably, we were also Summer. Let me jot down what I thought about both of these characters and why we could be either one of them, or both in many cases.

1) Tom

Someone who believed in true love and The One, which was greatly influenced by skewed idealism of a movie and pop songs. Someone who was in denial and often brushed off the bad things in life so that they remain happy by focusing only on the good things. Someone who believed in fairy tales and going against all odds so that he could finally reap the reward - together. And Summer fitted all these perfectly in his book. Why?

Summer was very beautiful.
Summer did not believe in love.
Summer was adventurous and daring. She brought out the dreamer side in him.
Summer constantly reminded him that they were never exclusive for each other.

Sounds familiar? It was similar, if not identical to fairy tales and hopelessly romantic novels. Two people who were completely opposites and were not supposed to be together due to internal or external issues, but ended up together anyway despite all odds. Like Romeo and Juliet (they died together so it counts), who were not supposed to be together because of societal pressure. Then again, how well did Romeo and Juliet knew each other? How sure were they in love? They just knew they were attracted to each other and they wanted to be together, against all odds. This was what was instilled into Tom's fragile mind. Romance, and happily ever after. Summer had the "not exclusive" barrier and Tom decided that it would be him to break the barrier, and who knows, one day the barrier will be broken and they would end up together. Very romantic. Besides, someone shy as Tom were taken aback by Summer's advances, which perhaps was never experience before. Similar to a pampered princess who never experienced adventure until she met a peasant. A great modern fairy tale to write on, except it was not a fairy tale in reality.

We were like this.

It took Summer and heartbreak for Tom to realize that love did not happen like fairy tales. We have to work for what we want. What if Tom was more assertive and made the call in their relationship? What if Tom went for his calling and decided to be an architect because he knew that was what he was good at? What if Tom was more confident in himself and made it clear with Summer from the start that it was either labels or nothing? What if Tom man up and told Summer he wanted to be with her as his boyfriend when she asked him whether he liked her or not?

Would it make any difference? Perhaps Summer would still reject Tom regardless. But at least there was a closure from the start, and therefore there would not be a need of 500 days so that he could finally see Autumn (pun intended).

But.

We never know. And this is life. Full of uncertainties. And opportunities seldom come twice. So we either wait for the opportunity, or we create it.

2) Summer

Summer was one screwed up individual. She was a confused lost puppy, who did not have a good childhood to begin with due to her parents' divorce at her very tender age. As a result, she created a barrier in her heart to prevent anyone from hurting her.

Somehow she believed in love though, as much as she denied it even from the start. Her previous relationships and how she mentioned "life" when Tom asked about how her relationships ended. There was a melancholic look in her eyes, indicating that as much as she loved her exes, they did not end well. It was probably because she did not want them to end at the very first place.

Throughout the course of the series, it was clear that Summer was attracted to Tom, and still attracted to him even after she was married. We could see that Summer tried. It was pretty obvious when a girl opened up her vulnerability to a man. Sadly, Tom did not, I repeat, DID NOT listen to her. What a woman wants in a man is for him to listen to her. Tom did not truly get to know her as a person inside out. Perhaps this was why Summer would never be sure of him.

So she did get married in the end. Was the marriage happy? Perhaps. Was Summer happy? I personally do not think so. She was hung up with "what if" with Tom so hard for her to wait for him at his favourite spot. Good for Tom because he finally had his closure. But good for Summer? No happily married woman would wait for her ex-fling at his favourite spot and held his hand after. Was Summer impulsive when she married the man? Perhaps. Perhaps she was brought upon the idea of love by Tom so much that she carried it with her and married herself to a man who asked her about the book. It could be Summer who ended up in love with the idea of love because of Tom's influence, not so much on the man himself.

I realized a pattern of insecure people. They would very much push away someone they deeply cared a lot about, in fear of getting hurt in return. Summer was one of them. She was impulsive and acted without thinking beforehand. Then when she stopped and thought back she decided to protect herself by fending off the people who made a huge impact in her heart. She was hurt before, and she would not allow herself to be hurt anymore.

I was both Tom and Summer. Not that I was exactly them, but there were pretty much similar in both aspects.

From this movie and my experiences though, I learned that love was not enough to keep a marriage. Love was never enough to keep two people together. There were too many things to consider, especially when we are looking for lifetime commitment. For those seeking thrill and excitement, go ahead and date as many as you want.

So, which one are you? :)

Sunday, March 04, 2018

The World of Uniccus

Kay was staring outside the window of her dark, cold room. There were three little children cycling so perfectly. No signs of wobbling. No signs of imbalance. Just children perfectly cycling as if they were cycling on a straight cable. Were they that perfect from the start? Were they even supposed to be perfect? 

Kay looked at the full-length mirror, seeing a reflection of herself. She was wearing a full-length brown robe, which was obviously oversized for someone lanky as her. She began to take off her robe. And looked at herself naked. She began examining each part of her body, from top to bottom. From her short brown hair to dark eyes, then her yellowish-porcelain skin wrapping her body tightly. There were several scars on her body, with the most apparent one below her belly button. It looked like a post-Caesarian scar, except it was not. It was not. 

Tears were gradually shedding down from Kay's almond-shaped eyes. They rolled down to her chin, and dropped all the way to the floor. She looked down, seeing that she had no breasts. She looked at the mirror and touched her chest. She had no breasts. No, she used to have breasts. They were then removed. So was her sexual organs. Kay was neither a female nor male. She was a Uniccian. With a 2ii on her left wrist, she was therefore labelled as a Sader, the most common subclass among Uniccians. 

Kay was the first generation of the Kingdom of Uniccus, a nation which is a definition of gender equality. There was no male or female; every Uniccian was the same. When Bakkhas, an asexual alien race with technology which was at least a millennial ahead of the human race, invaded Earth, they decided to rejuvenate the world into a better place. Hearing stories of human slavery, prostitution and rape, Bakkhas decided to unify gender and make them as one instead. They therefore surgically removed every human being's sexual organ so that they can no longer be defined by sex. After that, they were injected with Chryllstynophrone, a scientifically-enhanced mixture of hormones to kill of the remaining hormones in every human being that define the gender. Because of that, human beings, now known as Uniccians, could no longer procreate. Their DNAs were then taken, along with their sexual organs, to be kept for future manufacturing of Uniccians. 

When Kay woke up in the surgical theater after the sex removal surgery, she remembered her reaction when she saw her dead lover Pierre beside her. She was entirely hysterical; she was especially shocked when she saw his dissembled penis lying beside him. He died from excessive bleeding during penis removal and shock, which many male human being suffered from the same fate. It was expected that 70% of Uniccians were female who survived the surgery. 

Because Kay was not multi-talented and possess an average IQ with ordinary Chinese looks, she was therefore classified as a Sader, the second most bottom of the food chain. The top pyramid consist of Bakkhas, whom they deemed as most perfect and godlike, although they looked more fearful than beautiful with their blue skin, robot-like structure and slimy long hair that could be mistaken as a cloak. Their intelligence sure made up for it though, as their technology were the most unimaginable that even a human being could not actually create, such as capturing time (that was how they conquered Earth) and creating agricultural produce out of air and water because well, everything revolves around main elements C, H, N and O. The second layer of the pyramid consist of Fairies, the most beautiful, intelligent, talented and athletic human beings sans sexual organs. They were one level below Bakkhas, who were considered as royalty and they normally held high-ranking posts like government officials, owners of corporation and head of science research centers. Sader needs no introduction as they were ordinary human beings like you and I sans penis and vagina. The bottom of the food chain were Hambers, the slaves who did all the hard labour due to deformity. 

The question is, how did all of them procreate when there was no existence of sexual organs? There comes Tube Research Centers, led by Fairies to create Uniccians based on the first generation's DNA. Because Bakkhas multiplied by themselves due to their asexual nature, they expected Uniccians to do the same. 

This, to me, is one of the most horrifying dystopian storyline that I can think of. Can no longer continue because I am starting to feel tired. I need more ideas to continue this story. I think this can actually sell LEH. Inspired by fight for gender equality and the caste system. I know the names sound stupid so I'm open to receiving more ideas, especially on the naming part. 

Thursday, March 01, 2018

The Misunderstood Introvert

I am an introvert. I can easily relate myself to a typical introvert. My Myers-Brigg Test results are INFP, with high score leaning towards Introvert and Feeler. Having said that, I still have plenty of people (acquaintances especially) who thought otherwise.

I get it. I go out often. I meet people often. I can somewhat (the somewhat comes from others who think I can properly strike conversations with people) talk with strangers. I talk a lot. I am loud.

Make it this way. These are the signs of an introvert (which suits my personality well):

1. NEED ME TIME. I need alone time. There are days which I just need to be alone. Extroverts can die if they do not meet interact with another human for even a day, or at most two days. On the other hand, I can die if I interact with people non-stop for two days in a row.

2. Normally seen having meals alone. Introverts prefer to have their meals alone and uninterrupted. Waiters trying to flirt with them? Stay away; you have been warned. There was once I almost splashed that thick-faced waiter with a glass of water just because he didn't get the memo and kept on flirting, which to me was borderline sexual harassment. Their worst nightmare though, is to bump into another acquaintance who happens to be a true blue extrovert. Once that happens, there goes their peaceful meals.

3. Prefers driving alone or wearing earphones in a public transport (for those who are too poor to afford a car). My brother used to ask me this question, "What is the big deal of asking your friends to give you a ride? You don't have genuine friends meh?" Yes, apart from not wanting to trouble them, the main reason is for me to have an alone time in the car to recharge after hours of chit-chatting with friends non-stop. I especially need that when I attend social events.

4. Usually wait for friendly extroverts to approach them in social events. Unsurprisingly, introverts are usually pleasant-looking or even attractive *cough*. When I attend networking events (in the name of work or when I am too nice to say no), somehow there will be kind people who approach me and strike conversations with me. There will be occasional awkward pauses, but other than that, they will be kind enough to keep the conversations going. And so do I, after many, many years of training to make small talks. Small talks then lead to point 5.

5. HATE SMALL TALKS. Look at points 3 and 4. Introverts are deep thinkers who hate meaningless, superficial small talks. Wherever I go, I usually pray that I will not bump into any familiar faces because I will have to think of questions like," What brings you here?" "Who do you come with?" "Where got cheap sale?" "Got this kind of event meh?" and the list goes on. The same goes for hitching a ride with others. Back in those Kerteh days, I used to hitch a ride with someone who drove to KL on some weekends. Imagine getting stuck with the person for 3++ hours. We will eventually run out of things to say. There comes my "keeping the conversations going" skill, by asking appropriate questions. That way, they will do all the talking for me to listen. Which was why sometimes I prefer to drive alone to KL (again, refer to point 3).

6. Difficult to say no. Despite being an introvert, I have people who regularly ask me out for dinner. I do not want to say no because I do not want to disappoint them. I am not sure if this is related to being an introvert, but I shall list it here to dispel the "why do I call myself an introvert if I often go out for dinner with others".

7. Build friendships, not networks. To introverts, networks are meaningless and superficial. But friendships last an eternity (that is, provided that the friends you make do not end up being a bitch). I treasure every single friendship, provided that they feel the same. I do have friends whom we ended up being drifted apart, but no hard feelings because things change. This is why I normally talk to less people but once we meet and start talking, we will end up being the loudest in the room. HAHAHA.

8. Prefer to express their thoughts and ideas on a platform rather than vocally. Like me, I prefer to articulate my rants via a journal, rather than shouting it out loud with a loudspeaker (literally LOL). I prefer to present a well-documented proposal and then presenting it to one person rather than giving a speech to the crowd. I used to like drawing, but it somehow drifted to writing. I still write today. I am trying to brush up my writing skills which have apparently gone rusty. Despite being so, I will still be vocal and voice out my dissatisfaction should anything goes wrong.

I hope that people out there will understand introverts better after reading this post from an introvert.