Changing FB Profile Pic

I am sure the readers of this pathetic blog are Facebook users. I am sure those Facebook users have heard of the plea for Violence Against Children by changing profile pictures to cartoon characters of their own childhood. I personally am rather sceptical with this plea because small kids do not have their own Facebook profile so I see no point doing so. For me VAC is to be done practically rather than doing something like this. It does not signify anything. It is different from shaving head bald to support cancer kids or wearing a red ribbon to raise awareness against HIV. However, I give in to this plea anyway. I mean, cartoons are cute, so why not? Hence, this is my current profile pic:



Wth why mine's Sailormoon...lol...

Just now I heard a news about this plea which was actually a fraud set up by pedophiles to attract children so that they'll add those sick pedophiles. Then, those pedophiles will start tracking down their preys. In my personal opinion, this plea is not a fraud, just that it has been misused by damn-creative-betul pedophiles for their own benefits.

Just imagine:

When the plea was executed,

Pedophile A: Waseh! They so drastic carry out plea to support Violence Against Children. But I like to sodomise little children bo.
Pedophile B: Yaloh. When I see those little children cry in pain my erection's getting active I get all excited.
Pedophile A: Aiyah. Spoil our hiao seh-kia mood only.
Pedophile B: No, it may be a great advantage to us!
Pedophile A: Whyleh?
Pedophile B: We pretend we support their plea lor. We put up super cute cute cartoon character as our profile pic. When those innocent children saw our uber-cute profile pic, confirm they want to add us one!
Pedophile A: Yahor! Then once they're our friends we can slow slow eat them until we are full!!!!!

But this fraud was rather nonsensical. You see, firstly, small children, as intelligent as they are, they are still under their parents' control. Our parents have always taught us not to simply talk to strangers when we were still kids. I am sure the parents will do the same to the children. How can the children simply accept or add strangers just for the cartoon character when they have eyes watching them? Secondly, pedophiles are not so stupid to use this plea to trap their prey. Obviously this idea is not going to work because it is very rare for children to own their own Facebook profile. Blind dates may work when it comes to scheming, but not this. Lastly, it is just my hunch that this fraud thing is not valid. But my hunch is usually accurate.

Hence, I shall stick to my cartoon profile picture (well, at least until I acquire a new hairstyle).

Affair Behind Each Other's Spouse

There are two main things that bring wreck to a blissful marriage, affair and divorce. Both are somehow interconnected, although at times people divorce not because of an affair. However, these two things are not to be taken lightly because once a marriage is wrecked, the family is broken too as well. In the end, who suffer? The kids are the ones who suffer.

Let me begin with the affair. When a man and a woman got married, they started off living a blissful life as lovebirds. Honeymoons, adventures together, making love, you name them, they do them all. However, as time passes by, both parties lose passion inside their heart, probably due to negligence and both taking each other for-granted. When the passion inside their heart died, they will no longer have the interest to make love with each other. That was when the loneliness inside their heart began. Hence, either party started seeking for the new spark from someone else, and that was how the affair began. Be it physically or emotionally, it is still an affair. His or her heart is no longer with the spouse, but with the third person. This is definitely one thing that wrecks a marriage.

Another thing that caused this affair was due to regrets. Why? For some people, the person they marry may not be the person whom they love the most, or probably even have feelings for at all. Due to some reasons, they could not be with the one they love so they moved on and married someone else. However, they just could not get rid off their old flame. By chance, they collided with their old flame and if the old flame too has feelings for them, the affair began, which ended up hurting the innocent spouse.

From there, there are two things people should take note for a blissful marriage:

1. Marry someone whom you love the most and who loves you the most (mutual)
Why? If you marry someone knowing his or her heart does not belong to you, true love can never be made. Sure, there will be a blissful family, but as time passes by, you can never see the genuine sparkle in your spouse's eyes, simply because you who live with him or her, is not the one whom he or she loves the most. On the other hand, if you marry someone else just for the sake of moving on, yet there is still some bits of your ex-lover inside your heart, you will never be happy. There will always be regrets inside until you're old. Okay, assuming there is no divorce. You'll still feel that you're living with a man or woman, but not the one you love the most. There still is the emptiness inside your heart.

2. Make wonders in your marriage, if possible daily
Many couple ended up with affair and divorce simply because they take passion and intimacy for-granted. No, no, no, no, no, this must not happen at all. No matter how busy you are, at least spend some few minutes sending e-mails or text messages assuring you're doing fine and you miss him or her. It'll be better if it's a phone call. If he or she is stressed, do not leave him or her alone. Instead, let him or her know you're always there to encourage him. Simple actions such as a good luck lunchbox or a hearty breakfast to start off the rough day will do. After all, it is the thought that matters right? When both parties are connected by heart daily, it is nearly impossible for the third person to intrude between them.

It's been a while since I wrote a sensible post without having my emotions affected. No, this is purely based on thoughts and not emotions, just like my old blog posts.

Glad to say I'm getting over my pain day after day =) but the love is still there, and most probably will always be there =)

Year 1 Sem 1 Officially Ends

Yep. Just finished my Engineering Mechanics 100 a few hours ago. I thought my form 6 knowledge was somehow sufficient but this paper proved me wrong. Seems easy but one tiny mistake and I'm done. Worst of all for some reason I seem like I don't know how to do every question although I know what the question wants. In short, I'm finished.

Never mind. No use crying over spilled milk. If I really fail Mechanics *choi* I'll have to find Joshua and beg and beg and BEG him to pass me =p nah just kidding. If I fail tough luck I have to repeat this unit. I won't fail right? Come on! Be optimistic. Won't fail one lah...hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Flying back to Cat City this Thursday =) for some reason I do not look forward to coming back as much as before. Maybe the anticipation kind of wore off thanks to the finals? Hrmm...anyway, I am glad to announce that I am FUREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Free's the proper word.

Can't wait to taste Laksa. The only thing I'll miss about Miri food is the 3-layed teh-C peng (they used wheatgrass as syrup instead of the dark-coloured thing (palm sugar aka gula melaka).

I miss my bed =)

Pride and Prejudice

I have great affection onto 18th century English romance. To date, I watched Sense and Sensibility, Shakespeare in Love, Being Jane, Pride and Prejudice, Casanova (Heath Ledger *sob*), Nicholas Nickeby and so on. Sweeney Todd contained a little bit of romance (Todd's love for his late wife and his daughter Johanna; Mrs Lovett willing to do anything for Todd), though the emphasis was more on bloodbath and meat pies (that movie somehow made me skipped shepherd's pie or beef pie).

Anyway, my favourite was Pride and Prejudice. To me, it is a beautiful story about romance despite the different social status, as it was heavily emphasized during that era. Thank God this feudal crap no longer exists. I know there are several characters involved when it comes to romance, but I focus more on Mr Darcy and Elizabeth (after all, they were the main characters of this story). Both started off with pride (Mr Darcy) and prejudice (Elizabeth) due to different social status. But time is capable of showing the truth about each other and how love develops between two individuals of different background. As time goes by, Elizabeth learned that Darcy was not what she thought who he was at first impression, since action spoke louder than words. At the same time, Darcy's affection for Elizabeth grew stronger, although he did mention that she was not at all the type of woman that he should fall in love with (I can smell the stench of ego here...eww).

There are both parts which I like best.

Firstly, the conversation between Elizabeth and Mr Bennet. I like the way she expressed her love for Darcy, which showed that her prejudice towards him totally faded. Besides, Mr Bennet is an AWESOME father ^^

Elizabeth and Mr Bennet are still together. Mr Bennet has heard of Darcy’s involvement in the marriage of Lydia and Mr Wickham.

MR BENNET:
Good Lord! I must pay him back.

ELIZABETH:
No, you mustn’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t want it. We misjudged him, Papa, me more than anyone – in every way, not just in this matter. I’ve been nonsensical. He’s been a fool, about Jane, about so many other things, but then so have I. You see, he and I are… he and I are so similar. We’re both so stubborn. Papa…

Mr Bennet, along with Lizzy, is starting to cry.

MR BENNET:
(Laughs) You really do love him, don’t you.

ELIZABETH:
Very much.

MR BENNET:
I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you, but it seems I am overruled. So, I heartily give my consent.

They hug.

MR BENNET:
I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy.

Elizabeth leaves.

MR BENNET:
If any young men come for Mary or Kitty then for Heaven’s sake send them in. I am quite at my leisure.

The other part which I like best is the ending part, where both Darcy and Elizabeth, as newlyweds, were sitting beside the lake at Pemberley at night.



Dialogues by the way:

MR DARCY:
How are you this evening, my dear?

ELIZABETH:
Very well. Only, I wish you would not call me ‘my dear.’

MR DARCY:
Why?

ELIZABETH:
‘Cause it’s what my father always calls my mother when he’s cross about something.

MR DARCY:
What endearments am I allowed?

ELIZABETH:
Well, let me think. ‘Lizzy’ for every day. ‘My pearl’ for Sundays, and ‘Goddess Divine,’ but only on very special occasions.

MR DARCY:
And what shall I call you when I’m cross? Mrs Darcy?

ELIZABETH:
No. No. You may only call me ‘Mrs Darcy’ when you are completely, perfectly and incandescently happy.

MR DARCY:
But how are you this evening, Mrs Darcy? Mrs Darcy. Mrs Darcy. Mrs Darcy.

As you can see, Darcy, once stoic and cold, changed once he met Elizabeth. A guy who used to be cold and arrogant showed his affection in a most tender and warmest way. The kisses showed his uttermost joy for able to marry the woman whom he loved the most. It is a way of showing how much he appreciated her, and how deep was his love for her. Kiss is after all, an expression of affection. I see no reason why can it be seen as a form of sexuality. It is one of the most beautiful gifts a person can give to another. After all, these lips one has is not for everyone. So, for those who thinks that it is oversexed, get a life!

I'm so tempted to download Pride and Prejudice and watched it over and over again but I have presentation script to prepare. After that, off to bed =)

This Is...An "Art"

Had a day out with my housemate Lee Ping. We went to Bintang, of course (there's no other place to go in Miri). Not much clothes to buy...never mind I'll buy some more in Kuching =D

This lovely work of art is what I saw when I answered the call of nature in Bintang's loo.


"Nice" handwriting...must be expelled from school one no chance to show off their beautiful writing that's why need to resort to toilet door so that those who happened to pee maybe someone from Lembaga Peperiksaan Malaysia.

Well, too bad I'm not someone from LPM. Impossible they target MPM because Form 6 students won't do that(I'm ex-sixth former, hence must not tarnish my own reputation=p). I'm only a university student who happen to loathe unpleasant sights, especially when I'm in my own zen. Imaginelah, your bladder is about to burst and you finally let everything out, feeling relieved in toilet. Then suddenly right in front of you got FUCK YOU PONDAN with super no-standard-don't-know-what-the-hell-punya-language. Luckily I did not pee right to the door(though I see no reason how can I even do that =p).

You doing that who suffers the most? Not those who happens to pee in toilet, but those who HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE DOOR(though I am sure no one will be THAT nice to clean it up). If there is someone who's truly civic-conscious to clean up that door I will salute you and treat you McDonalds =) I'm serious. Mark my words.

P.S. I HATE CAMPUS WOK.

Why?


Kononnya chicken chop and chips.........RM5 bloody hell.......

I was like huh? Seriously, I said that right in front of the auntie.

Me: Huh????? Apa ini?????
Campus wok auntie: Ini chicken chop and fries.
Me: Eh......RM5 ke???
Campus wok auntie: RM3 untuk fries, RM2 untuk ayam.
Me: Wah! (took out the extremely-heavy RM5 note out from my wallet and reluctantly handed it to the auntie, who accepted it with uttermost delight =.=""")

Man I'm broke...........

Search for Intimacy

I find it rather interesting to share. Enjoy =)

Dr. Henry Brandt, in the Collegiate Challenge magazine, said that there is a syndrome, a pattern, when couples come to him. They say, "At first, sex was exciting. Then I started feeling funny about myself, and then I started feeling funny about my partner. We argued and fought and finally we broke up. Now we are enemies."

This syndrome is what I call the morning-after syndrome. We wake up and find that intimacy is not really there. The sexual relationship does not satisfy us anymore, and what we end up with is not what we really wanted in the first place. All you have is two self-centred people seeking self-satisfaction. The elements of genuine love and intimacy cannot be obtained "instantly," and you find yourself in an unbalanced state, searching for harmony.

Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. In our search for intimacy we want the solution today, or yesterday. One of our problems is that we want "instant" gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an "instant" solution. Where do we look? Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual? It's the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour -- it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet.

What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalise it by saying, "We are in love. No, I mean really in love." But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied. On campuses all across America I see men and women searching for intimacy, going from one relationship to another hoping, "This time will be it. This time I am going to find a relationship that will last."

I believe that what we really want is not sex. What we really want is intimacy.

What is Intimacy?

Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different dimensions of our lives -- yes, the physical, but also the social, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy really means total life sharing. And haven't we all had the desire at one time or another for closeness, for oneness, for sharing our life with someone totally?

Marshall Hodge wrote a book called Your Fear of Love. In it he says, "We long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but frequently, at the critical point, we often draw back. We are afraid of closeness. We are afraid of love." Later in the same book Hodge states, "The closer you come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain." It is the fear of pain that often drives us away from finding true intimacy.

I was giving a series of lectures at a university in southern Illinois. After one of the meetings, a woman came up to me and said, "I have to talk to you about my boyfriend problems." We sat down, and she began telling me her troubles. After a few moments, she made this statement: "I am now taking steps never to get hurt again." I said to her, "In other words, you are taking steps never to love again." She had thought I misunderstood, so she continued. "No, that's not what I am saying. I just don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want pain in my life." I said, "That's right, you don't want love in your life." You see, there is no such thing as "painless love." The closer we come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain.

I would estimate that you (and around 100 percent of the population) would say you have been hurt in a relationship before. The question is, how do you handle that hurt? In order to camouflage the pain, a lot of us give people what I call the "double-sign." We say to a person, "Look, I want you to come closer to me. I want to love and be loved . . . but wait a minute, I've been hurt before. No, I don't want to talk about these subjects. I don't want to hear those things." We build walls around our hearts to protect us from anyone on the outside getting in to hurt us. But that same wall which keeps people out, keeps us stuck inside. The result? Loneliness sets in and true intimacy and love become impossible.

What is Love?

Love is more than emotions, and it is much more than a good feeling. But our society has taken what God has said about love, sex and intimacy and changed it into simply emotions and feelings. God describes love in great detail in the Bible, especially in the Book of First Corinthians, chapter 13. So that you catch the full weight of God's definition of love, let me present verses four through seven (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) to you this way. How much would it meet your needs if a person loved you as God says we should be loved:

• if this person responded to you with patience, kindness, and was not envious of you?
• if this person was not boastful or proud?
• how about if this person wasn't rude toward you or self-seeking or easily angered?
• what if this person didn't keep a record of your wrongs?
• how about if they refused to be deceitful, but always were truthful with you?
• what if this person protected you, trusted you, always hoped for your good, and persevered through conflicts with you?

This is how God defines the love He wants us to experience in relationships. You'll notice that this kind of love is "other-person" focused. It is giving, rather than self-seeking. And there's the problem. Who can live up to this?

For us to experience this kind of love in relationships we need to first experience God's love for us. You can't consistently demonstrate this kind of love toward someone if you've never experienced being loved in this way. God, who knows you, who knows everything about you, loves you perfectly.

God tells us through the ancient prophet, Jeremiah, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; and I have drawn you unto Myself" (Jeremiah 31:3). So God's love for you is never going to change.

God loved us so much that He allowed for Jesus Christ to be crucified (an ancient form of execution) for our sins so that we might be made clean. We read in the Bible, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3: 16). When we turn to God and accept His forgiveness, then we begin to experience His love.

God tells us, "If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:19). Not only does God forgive our sins, but He forgets them and cleanses us.

God continues to love us no matter what. Often, relationships end when something in them is altered, such as a damaging accident or the loss of financial position. But God's love is not based on our physical appearance or who or what we are.

As you can see, God's view of love is totally different from what society tells us love is. Can you imagine a relationship with this kind of love? God simply tells us that His forgiveness and love is ours for the asking. It is His gift to us. But if we refuse the gift, we are the ones who cut ourselves off from finding true fulfilment, true intimacy and true purpose in life.

The Answer

God's love provides the answer. All we have to do is respond in faith and commitment. The Bible says about Jesus: "That as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those that believe on His name" (John 1:12). God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die in our place. But that is not where the story ends. Three days later, Jesus rose from the dead. As God, He is alive today and wants to put His love in your heart. Once you accept Him, you will be amazed at what He can do in your life and in your relationships.

The Bible tells us, "He who believes in the Son (Jesus Christ) has eternal life, but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" (John 3:36). What God wants for us is to have life, not only for today, but for eternity. If we choose to reject Him, then we have chosen sin's consequence which is death and eternal separation from Him.

It is the reception of Jesus Christ, receiving Him into our lives and trusting in Him, that brings our lives into balance. Faith in God unleashes the forgiveness of God. No more hiding, and no more going our own way. He is right there with us. We have peace with Him. After we place our faith and dependence on Him, He takes up residence within our lives and we have intimacy with Him. His forgiveness is there to cleanse us from the deepest sin, the deepest self-centredness, the deepest problem or struggle we ever had or will have.

Intimacy That Satisfies

Throughout the Bible, God's attitude toward sex is very clear. God has reserved sex for marriage and marriage only. Not because He wants to make us miserable, but because He wants to protect our hearts. He wants to build a security base for us, so that when we enter into a marriage, its intimacy can be based upon the security of God's love and wisdom.

When we entrust ourselves to Jesus Christ, He gives us new love and new power day by day. This is where the intimacy we are looking for is satisfied. God gives us a love that will not give up, and will not stop with the growing years and the changing times. His love can bring two people together, with Him at the centre of that union. In a dating relationship, as you grow together, not only spiritually, but socially, mentally and emotionally, you are able to have an honest, caring and intimate relationship which is fulfillingand exciting! And when the relationship comes along which culminates in marriage, the sexual union can only enhance the foundation that has been established.

You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Prayer is talking with God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. The following is a suggested prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Saviour and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be."

Does this prayer express the desire of your heart? If it does, pray this prayer right now. Placing your faith in Christ will result in His coming into your life as He has promised. This will begin a relationship with Him that will grow more intimate as you come to know Him better. And with Him at its centre, your life will take on a whole new dimension -- a spiritual one -- bringing more harmony and fulfilment to all of your relationships.

What One Gets Is Not Always What One Initially Wants

I wanted to further my studies in America since form 3. Harvard or MIT has always been stuck onto my mouth and my classmates got sick and tired of it. They labelled me as "Harvard girl". Lol. And where do I end up? Curtin. Not in Australia, not Perth. Miri. Humble Miri.

I had always hoped for an education in the States. I want to be immersed in their diverse cultures. To me, America is a place where I can do whatever I want without having people to say because it's a place where one can chase their dreams. And my initial dream was to be a psychologist, to study human behaviour, to help every single human being by making them a better person. Sounds so noble, I know. But of course, partly because psychologists are well-paid in America. I like to get in touch with human beings, to get close to them, to know things about them, to help them the best as I can. Yeah, that's how I get my "kepo-ness" in schools. But people never fail to find me whenever they have trouble and I never fail to listen to their troubles. In fact, I remember everything they told me. I love psychology, and I do not deny that I still love it today. Harsh reality forced me to drop it. Why? In Malaysia, psychology graduates end up as counsellors and are not well-paid. I'm realistic. Money makes the world go round, and I'm penniless. I need MONEY. I want MONEY. I LOVE MONEY. I LOATHE POVERTY!!!!!

Never mind. Find other alternative. I still have other interest. Engineering. I love creating and shaping the future. I love improving things because I find our current world lacks many things. During KH I always always write down tons of problems and ways to solve it, and that's part of the engineer's instinct. Haha. Never mind. Engineers are well-paid. And the job is interesting as well. And teamwork is involved, which means I need to keep in touch with human beings and not just machines. Most of all, it is fun, fun and FUN. Challenging as well. For someone stupid and blur like me, I need to face many challenges to make me stronger. And challenges is what makes life FUN. Yeah~!!! Dare to disagree? *glares*

Form 6, I'm taking a step forward into physics stream. In class my classmates can always hear me saying Chemical Engineering. Lol. I want to further it in US, UK or Australia. But I did not pursue because I play, play and play. If I were to work much harder and to study more than to play then probably I can pave my way to obtaining a Shell scholarship. But no, dreams are shattered just because I'm penniless. Penniless to take IELTS, SAT tests and TOEFL. Wtf?!! Going to these coveted countries to obtain a piece of paper with logos and stamps need MONEY~!!!!! Hate it. Why do poor people are always excluded from these privileges??? Seriously.

I am grateful that I landed onto a job and has been working for six months. This stopped me from worrying like hell. Hell yeah, anyone who knows me well knows that I am a "deep" thinker whose mind can always float to elsewhere and think about heaps and heaps of rubbish. Sigh. But working, in a way, changed me quite a bit. I get to see different types of people. Nice people makes my job easier. They listens to what I have to say and let me help them get what they want. They know I am sincere to help them (by choosing products which are of old stocks or only left one). The not-nice ones make my job difficult. They ask questions after questions, complains one thing after another, and worst, shouts at me in public. Hell yeah, they shouted at me and spat out vulgar words to me. Nah, the executives and supervisors knew me well so they sided me. Customers sided me as well *glints*. If I'm not wrong I won't have to be scared of what others say about me. People see, people judge. And remember, people are NOT stupid. They have brains.

Okay, I'm out of topic now. Anyways, I obtained my result like what I said earlier and get into the university like I mentioned in my earlier post. Lazy to repeat. It is not what I initially want. I did not get to fly overseas even.

Nevertheless, I am grateful I am given a scholarship. If not, I confirm cannot further my studies. Maybe I'll just continue working at Toys R Us with a basic earning of RM700 per month and count stupid stocks and settle stupid stocks every month and bear with stupid bosses and customers. Terrible. Or I have to go to UPM to do a Bachelor of Science Majoring in Material Science and cannot be a chemical engineer. I am thankful I am able to pursue my ambition. I can still studyi chemical engineering, yay! I'm in an Australian university with 3 months summer break from December until February. I can still celebrate CNY. NYAHAHAHA~!!!! Red packets, ban lak, tai di....money money money:p

Nineteen days before I fly.

By the way I love today's weather. Saves air-con bills XP