Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Feminism and Sexual Harrassment

A few days ago, my friend shared this video on the problems that occurred in this male-dominating society. The video clearly depicts how women are suppressed sexually and had to succumbed to taking faults despite it is NOT their fault at all.

I thought of writing this post for a very, very long time. My latest physical sexual harassment encounter was during the soft opening ceremony at The Library in Kuching. Some bastard just grabbed my ass and put his finger through my asshole and left. When I wanted to find out who was that, it was pretty darn difficult, because he was wearing jeans and black T-shirt. I was shocked that I almost cried on the spot. Someone actually dared to harass a girl at the opening ceremony. I had thought of either causing a turmoil out of it to find out the molester, or to let it die down and cry silently inside. Like what most female in today's society, I chose the latter. Most of my friends are female, and as pissed as they are, we have no male counterparts to actually man up and find out the molester. I, like most women, often succumbed to seclusion and chose to be oppressed. So what if I lodge a police report? Like the video, they will say "no proof", "no witness" and "absurd statement" as it happened during a soft opening, not in clubs.

But the more I think of it, the more I felt displeased. Why should I be the one suffering from this fucked-up sexual harassment thing? Why should I be told to "dress more decently next time" or "be careful" instead of telling the bastard to "stop disrespecting women"? It is not like I literally flashed my ass to him and asked him to grab it. I was just partying with my girlfriends that night. What gave him the right to grab my ass just like that? What gave him the right to disrespect women and treat them as sexual objects?

A friend tried to console me by saying, "At least this shows you are attractive." I replied by saying this experience is degrading my value, not the other way round. I being attractive is one thing, but I allowing him to grab my ass is another thing. There are two different things, and they should NOT be put together at all. If I am attractive to him, why can't he grow a pair and approach me and ask for my number? I would at least appreciate that rather than him harassing me in the name of me being "attractive". Bullshit. Rubbish. Molesters do not care whether you are attractive or not. They just see you as an object for them to fulfill their sexual desires.

Verbal abuse is also common in this fucked up society. I do not usually face such problems in Kuching as I have my own car and often visit places that have low chance of meeting those bastards, i.e. shopping malls, hotels, cafes and restaurants. These things occasionally happen, but I can always run to my car and drive off. However, in Senadin, Miri, I often face this kind of problem. I am innocently crossing the road to the shoplots to buy myself lunch, and I often get some rude whistles and names by those bastards. Some men even tried to grab me along the road while riding motorcycles. Those people who have said I care too much and think too much when I complained to them CLEARLY do not know what does respecting women means. What have I done to deserve such treatment by them? Being called amoi cutie saya suka punggung u out loud on the street is NOT NICE AT ALL. Rather than asking me to ignore them, why not ask them to stop doing these to me and all the other innocent women? It'll be a different story though if those women flashed themselves to them deliberately, or wear lingeries outside the house. That is like a red flag for them to ask to be harassed. But me? I only wear shorts and singlet/T-shirt. That does not spell "come and fuck me". Fuck you all for those who ask me to wear long pants and long sleeve shirt to walk around my neighbourhood nearby just to buy dinner. Don't blame me for wearing clothes that are comfortable, but blame those bastards for not able to respect women.

I really hope the society will soon wake up and realize that the mentality of asking women "not to get raped" is wrong. It will never stop if we ask women to hide themselves in the cocoon to avoid getting raped. Instead, we should start instilling the thought of asking men "not to rape". By stopping the cause of rape cases, which are obviously men, then we can reduce the rape cases altogether, if not completely eradicate it. Unless of course, women deliberately flashed their private parts right in front of those men and ended up getting raped. That, to me, is truly them asking to get raped.

I seriously do not want to get harassed anymore, physically or verbally :(