Waking up early at 7 something to catch a bus only to find out the library is occupied. Yeah..."occupied". By bags and files and even one pathetic piece of paper and a pen. Sometimes, to be honest, I feel like crumpling that piece of paper and took over the place instead. Have you people no common sense that if you people know you are leaving the place for not five minutes, but five HOURS, please let others who would like to make good use of the golden five hours to study on your spot? Sure, finders are keepers, but well you're not even using it, so please be considerate. I am sure you would not like to be treated the same way huh? How would you feel if I purchased your favourite item (assuming it's limited edition and that is the last piece in the shop) and then not using it at all? The same way I am feeling right now huh? Sigh. Have to resort to studying inside my room, which is a worst place to study. Why? Firstly, it is messy. Secondly, it has a bed, meaning temptation to sleep is always there. Thirdly, I have a roomie, meaning I have a company to play. Lastly, the place itself does not have this study environment, making me feeling further demotivated to study, especially if I am studying killer subject like Reaction Engineering.
Speaking of room, I am glad that I found a single room which has good lighting and has this conducive ambience to study. I am in my third year now, and the longer I study here, the more serious I will be in studies. I seriously need my own room, to study, to have full control of my own doings and to sleep. I cannot stand sleeping with lights on. It is truly disrupting my beauty sleep, and for people like me who do not fall asleep easily, sleep is crucial to me. Probably that is one of the reasons why my memory has been deteriorating lately. I need my normal biological clock back, like how I had adjusted it back home during the holidays. I want to live a normal, healthy life. I even make a vow to myself that I will not touch any clubbing or partying activities during my study period next semester. The only place where I will join any social activities are church activities, and that is if I have any time to spare. I am not a smart person and I seriously need to manage and discipline myself if I want to do well in studies. Sure, they say PR skills are important to get to the top, but it's pointless to reach the top if you do not even have the technical skills to back you up. And here is what I am doing now; balancing my social life and my academics at the same time. First class honours is definitely out of the question. I should probably just maintain my second upper honours' standard (unless I get smarter and end up getting first honours, which is definitely a bonus).
Looking back my old blog posts just made me realized how bimbo-tic and foolish I sounded back then. Probably I was one as well. Seriously, there are so many things happening to me over the years, and these have changed me. The most recent incident was truly a wake-up call for me to stop being young and stupid. Of course, I would like to have fun still, but I will not be foolish again. I am now an adult, not a teenager. It is time for me to do things in an adult way.
Speaking of adult way, I heard from a friend recently that he had his wallet stolen from a friend. He found it out, yet nothing was done towards the culprit. If I were in his shoes, would I do the same thing or turn that friend of mine to the police station? For one, I am not as rich, and money is a big thing to me. Secondly, it is fair to have that culprit punished because if that friend ever considered me as a friend, he/she would have been finding me to discuss about the issue instead of stealing from me. Hello, stealing is not a small issue here. I would be flabbergasted if someone whom I trusted stole something from me. However, I heard a story from another friend of mine that people nowadays love things more than people. If we can treat our own belongings so preciously, and they are not even living things, why take people who are close to us for-granted? That story taken me aback and put me into deep thoughts. Deeper than thinking about Reaction Engineering (haha). Anyway, that victim friend of mine said he chose to forgive his culprit friend because he took Jesus as an example, as a role model. Fair enough. Forgiving is a beautiful thing. It is actually a way of letting go the pain you suffered, and another way of triumphing over the ones who hurt you. These friends are worth knowing. They taught me many stuff. Of course, I have other friends who taught me many new things throughout my growing up days, but if I were to list them out here, I doubt I can start studying my Reaction Engineering ever.
Nah. Why am I getting so philosophical over the years? It's a sign I'm getting OLD. I go around giving lectures about turning over a new leaf or being serious in life or some preachings or whatever good good moral things to my friends like crazy. I.am.so.old. Good thing though. That means I have grown up.
It is now raining, and I am so tempted to sleep back instead. Waiting for whatsapp hence I cannot sleep back. Whatsapp's being a bitch, probably because the line here is being a bitch as well. I am waiting for Grace's reply here and she isn't replying =( kan got 2 ticks there, meaning she received my message already.
## she replied my whatsapp already hehehe =p
Okay Reaction Engineering, here I come. And please be nice to me, as my IQ is not high enough to be able to reciprocate to every single one of your knowledge offered.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Study Week = Hell Week
I remembered there is this one 9gag thing which stated that most of the students (Engineering especially) studied the hell loads of one semester's worth of unit in just ONE WEEK. Yes I do believe that. This is because this is what I am doing right now.
Today is Tuesday. I started Fluid Mechanics yesterday, hoping I can finish by yesterday. NO. One day is NOT enough. I am stressed because I have to finish that one unit so that I can start off my Reaction Engineering tomorrow, which is my worst fear. How not to fear that subject? First of all, it is a 3rd year unit. Second of all, it is the toughest unit among all. Thirdly, there is no past year for that unit (there is actually, but there are no solutions, no answers, NOTHING). Meh. I better make full use of my lecturers next week ><
Thing is, there are so many things to study for Fluid Mechanics. Ah the Bernoulli equation. Ah the applications. Ah the whatever friction factor and drag force (which I haven't even look at it yet). I do not want to do badly for this semester again. Surely there HAS to be one semester which I do well right???
Thing is, my Process Heat Transfer is untouched. Oh holy crap.
I wish the study week is 2 weeks instead of one. Sigh. I feel breathless right now. I.can't.breathe.
STUDY, I shall.
Fluid Mechanics, I shall finish you by today!!! Yes I can. Because I am going to do it now.
Today is Tuesday. I started Fluid Mechanics yesterday, hoping I can finish by yesterday. NO. One day is NOT enough. I am stressed because I have to finish that one unit so that I can start off my Reaction Engineering tomorrow, which is my worst fear. How not to fear that subject? First of all, it is a 3rd year unit. Second of all, it is the toughest unit among all. Thirdly, there is no past year for that unit (there is actually, but there are no solutions, no answers, NOTHING). Meh. I better make full use of my lecturers next week ><
Thing is, there are so many things to study for Fluid Mechanics. Ah the Bernoulli equation. Ah the applications. Ah the whatever friction factor and drag force (which I haven't even look at it yet). I do not want to do badly for this semester again. Surely there HAS to be one semester which I do well right???
Thing is, my Process Heat Transfer is untouched. Oh holy crap.
I wish the study week is 2 weeks instead of one. Sigh. I feel breathless right now. I.can't.breathe.
STUDY, I shall.
Fluid Mechanics, I shall finish you by today!!! Yes I can. Because I am going to do it now.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Testimony From a Christian Who Wants To Be a Good Christian Chemical Engineering Student
This was not some random ramblings like any other posts in my blog. This is what I have been thinking and feeling lately about my faith in Him and how He glorified my life. I felt like there is a need for me to testify this so that more people know the wonders God has done to us when we have faith in Him. Before I begin this post, I feel like there is one very important message to deliver to all Christians. Faith does not build up in just one day. Just because you attend this one mass, feeling impressed and then you think you have faith, you are wrong. Just because you go to church every Sundays and memorize every single word in the Bible and then you think you have faith, you are wrong too. This is because faith does not come from the outside. No one in this world can teach us how to have deep faith in God, except ourselves. Faith comes from within, and to have faith, we must first experience Him. How to experience Him? The answer is by allowing him into our lives.
My path in Christianity is not short, to be honest. I was born in a Buddhist family, with a Christian mother. I knew nothing about religion and I blindly followed what my father did, such as giving offerings and burning joss sticks. When I was small, I did not know what religion was. I only thought of it as some racial thing. Like in class, we are divided into Malays, Chinese, Indians and indigenous. The same goes for religion. Yeah, that was what I thought.
I was introduced into Christianity when I was nine, when my family tore apart and my mother began bringing my brother and I to the Anglican church. At that time, I thought of Christianity as a very beautiful and sacred religion. A beautiful cathedral to attend to every Sunday, while seeing those grown-ups receiving some white cookie dipped in wine. I would like to eat that too, I thought. But at that time I was not baptized yet, so all I can do was to receive blessings from the priests every Sunday. I attended Sunday schools and learned many nice origami skills (I forgot most of them today =X).The Sunday school teachers are very friendly and warm, and I make new friends there. I did not make many friends there though, as I was a very shy and reserved little girl back then.
I was baptized when I was ten. I felt very happy that time, because I felt that I was finally accepted into a family, a beautiful family. To them it was the Kingdom of Christ. To me it was a family. My father converted into a Christian too, but at a different church. He was brought in by a friend of his. He brought my entire family into that church. Somehow, I did not feel a sense of belonging there. These people there all talked about money, and how God's grace granted them financial blessings. I too heard stories of rich people getting richer and became corrupted. Although I was small, but I knew how corrupted people look like and act like already.
My family began breaking into pieces throughout my teenage years. There are a few times when I actually doubted God's existence and questioned his love for us. I was a baptized and a confirmed Christian (I had myself confirmed when I was fourteen), yet my family grew more and more apart each day. We seldom attended church after that because my father was busy making money and because of that we did not have transport. Thankfully, I was studying in a Catholic school so my Catholic friends somehow brought me into Christian gatherings and the monthly Friday morning mass. Once again, I felt the sense of belongings whenever I attended the mass and the gatherings. I also learned more and more words of God throughout my secondary years. However, my faith towards Him did not add up. I still question Him about the wrongful scenario in my life. How my family became broken, how I wish I was like others, who live luxurious life with no worries. At that time I hated my family and hated God for putting me into such family. Thinking back, I was actually hot-blooded and foolish that time. Hehe.
When I was selected into NS, I once again blamed God for being unfair to me. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I, A FLABBY AND WEAK NON-ATHLETE BE CHOSEN TO ATTEND THIS SHITTY 3-MONTHS MILITARY CAMP??? To be honest, I actually cried after knowing I was selected for this shit programme. My parents encouraged me to go, partly because they want me to learn and partly want me to stay away from the broken family for a while. And off I went. And I did not regret it at all. Instead, I kind of enjoyed it and I made many new friends. The best thing is, I learned how to speak Chinese in the camp. Yeah, banana. I could not speak Chinese until I was eighteen.
I finished Form 5 with good results, and I did not thank God for that. This was because I ended up in Form 6, in another Catholic school which was just opposite my previous school. For a year and a half I wasted my life playing away with my Form 6 mates. Sure, I studied, but I did not really put in much effort because I knew I could not go far with Form 6. The subjects were super difficult and I can only produce straight As with a miracle. My brother was so intelligent and yet he got only 2As, what more to say me, who was not as smart as him? Hence, part of me studied to get through STPM without getting terrible results, but part of me kind of give up because I might as well end up in local university anyway, so no need to bother trying so hard.
My STPM results were out and they were actually better than I expected. Sure, it was the first time I did not obtain straight As in national-level examination, but from that level of results obtained, it was actually pretty good. It was good enough to secure a government scholarship (though it was not what I want). Because of the scholarship I was able to be enrolled into a foreign private university instead of settling down onto public universities. Sure, I obtained a place in one of the top public universities (UPM, just so you know), but I was not offered the course I wanted. Therefore, I decided to reject the offer and enrolled into Curtin University instead. Thankfully, my results were good enough for direct entry without having to do foundation. Hehe. That I actually thanked God. I thought I will end up like shit but it turned out I will not end up that shitty after all.
During the 6-months break after STPM, I landed myself onto my first job, which was a retail assistant at Toys R Us at Parkson. I made friends with my multi-racial colleagues, and from there I realized they were also broken. I was thankful that despite having problems, I did not end up broken and messed up like them. Apparently, one of my colleagues got pregnant by a man and he was nowhere to be found. Until today I heard no news about them. It was too from this job I got to know someone who used to be so special to me. He opened up my ice-cold heart who did not believe in nice men and true love. I accepted him into my life and he loved me. I turned to love him a lot and began to be dependent on him.
My first semester in Curtin Miri was okay, except my boyfriend and I had misunderstandings and issues, partly due to long distance. I did not do so well in my first semester due to negligence and me being big-headed. My first relationship ended in Kuching right after I finished my finals and came back home. At that time, I felt like the whole world crumbled. Someone whom I gave all my heart to and whom I had faith in so much betrayed me and abandoned me. For the following year, which was last year (hehe), I became broken. I attended clubs and drank more often than I should and did. There was once when I wanted to give up on myself and decided to let someone destroy me. However, it was God's grace that I ended up in the hands of a trustworthy friend who did nothing to me at all. So, I was safe. I thanked God and that friend.
My year in 2011 was truly a messed-up year. Although my friends brought me to Christian camp and Christian gatherings, I was not strong enough to hold myself strong. I even met a good friend who gave us weekly bible study and taught us many words of God to be applied in real life. These were not enough to hold me strong. Instead, I made a mess out of myself; drink, drink and drink. But thankfully I was not dumb enough to lose myself. I drink, and at one point I kept on drinking to get drunk and made a fool out of myself. My poor friends had to witness my ugly side. My facade kept on tearing off, leaving me looking ugly and tired. Thankfully my results were not so messed up. Had overall distinction despite messing up my life, so not bad lah =p anyway, from there I realized my faith for Him was very little that time.
2011 ended, and 2012 came. I hoped that 2012 would be a great year for me. Sure enough, it is so far. I had this killer food poisoning during CNY which made me lost weight. I get to go to Brunei and Borneo Jazz (after so long). Studies was okay so far. Okay. The faith in Him slowly builds up. Just believe in Him and good things will come along. When sin, confess and ask for forgiveness. That way, I can sleep soundly every night and wake up feeling fresh. But there is one thing which made me believe that God had His eyes on me all this time. When I was celebrating my friend's birthday at a club not long ago, some ugly thing happened. At that time, I thought I would be ruined. I had no phone; I was cornered. Somehow, I managed to get out safe and untouched. Don't ask me how. It was an ugly experience. That made me seriously believed that God has been watching me all this while and prevented me from unwanted dangers. From there, I began to understand the meaning of faith. Because of my faith in Him, He protected me. I did not believe in Him because He protected me; He protected me because I believed in Him. Get the difference?
Because of that incident, I began thinking back of all the things that happened. How did I end up here. How did I ended up making real friends from different places in university and I can still be myself. How did I ended up getting a scholarship without being a burden to my family. How people were always so nice to me although I am not a nice person. How my mother survived one illness after another. My mother is a weak woman with a strong faith in God. She often prayed to Him to shower me in Jesus Christ's blood. Despite all the bad things that happened to her, she continuously prayed to God every morning and night without fail. This is faith. My mother may not be the most intelligent woman in the world, but she definitely has faith more than some of the most intelligent people in the world, and that is what makes her so loved and blessed by God.
I begin to believe the existence of God more and more each day. I remembered once a friend of mine asked me that how did I manage to see the world so innocently and believed that every person is good even though I had been hurt and let down so many times. I did not know that time, but now I know. The God, in the form of Holy Spirit was at my side at all times. Because of His presence, I did not stop believing in goodness in life and not giving up on people around. In every single person, there is always a good deep down inside. Believe this. Jesus believed that and that is why He is willing to sacrifice His life to save us. He did not give up on us.
Christianity is a beautiful religion. Now, I am not trying to belittle other religions (the reason why I do not touch other religions here), but rather, expressing my testimony on Christ here. I hope that He will continue glorifying my life and continue staying on my side.
So,
Never stop believing in Jesus. This is what I got from the Praise and Worship night which I went yesterday. Once we turn away from Him, that is when He is no longer by our side. From there, we stray away and become lost in darkness.
**phew!! What a long post.**
My path in Christianity is not short, to be honest. I was born in a Buddhist family, with a Christian mother. I knew nothing about religion and I blindly followed what my father did, such as giving offerings and burning joss sticks. When I was small, I did not know what religion was. I only thought of it as some racial thing. Like in class, we are divided into Malays, Chinese, Indians and indigenous. The same goes for religion. Yeah, that was what I thought.
I was introduced into Christianity when I was nine, when my family tore apart and my mother began bringing my brother and I to the Anglican church. At that time, I thought of Christianity as a very beautiful and sacred religion. A beautiful cathedral to attend to every Sunday, while seeing those grown-ups receiving some white cookie dipped in wine. I would like to eat that too, I thought. But at that time I was not baptized yet, so all I can do was to receive blessings from the priests every Sunday. I attended Sunday schools and learned many nice origami skills (I forgot most of them today =X).The Sunday school teachers are very friendly and warm, and I make new friends there. I did not make many friends there though, as I was a very shy and reserved little girl back then.
I was baptized when I was ten. I felt very happy that time, because I felt that I was finally accepted into a family, a beautiful family. To them it was the Kingdom of Christ. To me it was a family. My father converted into a Christian too, but at a different church. He was brought in by a friend of his. He brought my entire family into that church. Somehow, I did not feel a sense of belonging there. These people there all talked about money, and how God's grace granted them financial blessings. I too heard stories of rich people getting richer and became corrupted. Although I was small, but I knew how corrupted people look like and act like already.
My family began breaking into pieces throughout my teenage years. There are a few times when I actually doubted God's existence and questioned his love for us. I was a baptized and a confirmed Christian (I had myself confirmed when I was fourteen), yet my family grew more and more apart each day. We seldom attended church after that because my father was busy making money and because of that we did not have transport. Thankfully, I was studying in a Catholic school so my Catholic friends somehow brought me into Christian gatherings and the monthly Friday morning mass. Once again, I felt the sense of belongings whenever I attended the mass and the gatherings. I also learned more and more words of God throughout my secondary years. However, my faith towards Him did not add up. I still question Him about the wrongful scenario in my life. How my family became broken, how I wish I was like others, who live luxurious life with no worries. At that time I hated my family and hated God for putting me into such family. Thinking back, I was actually hot-blooded and foolish that time. Hehe.
When I was selected into NS, I once again blamed God for being unfair to me. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I, A FLABBY AND WEAK NON-ATHLETE BE CHOSEN TO ATTEND THIS SHITTY 3-MONTHS MILITARY CAMP??? To be honest, I actually cried after knowing I was selected for this shit programme. My parents encouraged me to go, partly because they want me to learn and partly want me to stay away from the broken family for a while. And off I went. And I did not regret it at all. Instead, I kind of enjoyed it and I made many new friends. The best thing is, I learned how to speak Chinese in the camp. Yeah, banana. I could not speak Chinese until I was eighteen.
I finished Form 5 with good results, and I did not thank God for that. This was because I ended up in Form 6, in another Catholic school which was just opposite my previous school. For a year and a half I wasted my life playing away with my Form 6 mates. Sure, I studied, but I did not really put in much effort because I knew I could not go far with Form 6. The subjects were super difficult and I can only produce straight As with a miracle. My brother was so intelligent and yet he got only 2As, what more to say me, who was not as smart as him? Hence, part of me studied to get through STPM without getting terrible results, but part of me kind of give up because I might as well end up in local university anyway, so no need to bother trying so hard.
My STPM results were out and they were actually better than I expected. Sure, it was the first time I did not obtain straight As in national-level examination, but from that level of results obtained, it was actually pretty good. It was good enough to secure a government scholarship (though it was not what I want). Because of the scholarship I was able to be enrolled into a foreign private university instead of settling down onto public universities. Sure, I obtained a place in one of the top public universities (UPM, just so you know), but I was not offered the course I wanted. Therefore, I decided to reject the offer and enrolled into Curtin University instead. Thankfully, my results were good enough for direct entry without having to do foundation. Hehe. That I actually thanked God. I thought I will end up like shit but it turned out I will not end up that shitty after all.
During the 6-months break after STPM, I landed myself onto my first job, which was a retail assistant at Toys R Us at Parkson. I made friends with my multi-racial colleagues, and from there I realized they were also broken. I was thankful that despite having problems, I did not end up broken and messed up like them. Apparently, one of my colleagues got pregnant by a man and he was nowhere to be found. Until today I heard no news about them. It was too from this job I got to know someone who used to be so special to me. He opened up my ice-cold heart who did not believe in nice men and true love. I accepted him into my life and he loved me. I turned to love him a lot and began to be dependent on him.
My first semester in Curtin Miri was okay, except my boyfriend and I had misunderstandings and issues, partly due to long distance. I did not do so well in my first semester due to negligence and me being big-headed. My first relationship ended in Kuching right after I finished my finals and came back home. At that time, I felt like the whole world crumbled. Someone whom I gave all my heart to and whom I had faith in so much betrayed me and abandoned me. For the following year, which was last year (hehe), I became broken. I attended clubs and drank more often than I should and did. There was once when I wanted to give up on myself and decided to let someone destroy me. However, it was God's grace that I ended up in the hands of a trustworthy friend who did nothing to me at all. So, I was safe. I thanked God and that friend.
My year in 2011 was truly a messed-up year. Although my friends brought me to Christian camp and Christian gatherings, I was not strong enough to hold myself strong. I even met a good friend who gave us weekly bible study and taught us many words of God to be applied in real life. These were not enough to hold me strong. Instead, I made a mess out of myself; drink, drink and drink. But thankfully I was not dumb enough to lose myself. I drink, and at one point I kept on drinking to get drunk and made a fool out of myself. My poor friends had to witness my ugly side. My facade kept on tearing off, leaving me looking ugly and tired. Thankfully my results were not so messed up. Had overall distinction despite messing up my life, so not bad lah =p anyway, from there I realized my faith for Him was very little that time.
2011 ended, and 2012 came. I hoped that 2012 would be a great year for me. Sure enough, it is so far. I had this killer food poisoning during CNY which made me lost weight. I get to go to Brunei and Borneo Jazz (after so long). Studies was okay so far. Okay. The faith in Him slowly builds up. Just believe in Him and good things will come along. When sin, confess and ask for forgiveness. That way, I can sleep soundly every night and wake up feeling fresh. But there is one thing which made me believe that God had His eyes on me all this time. When I was celebrating my friend's birthday at a club not long ago, some ugly thing happened. At that time, I thought I would be ruined. I had no phone; I was cornered. Somehow, I managed to get out safe and untouched. Don't ask me how. It was an ugly experience. That made me seriously believed that God has been watching me all this while and prevented me from unwanted dangers. From there, I began to understand the meaning of faith. Because of my faith in Him, He protected me. I did not believe in Him because He protected me; He protected me because I believed in Him. Get the difference?
Because of that incident, I began thinking back of all the things that happened. How did I end up here. How did I ended up making real friends from different places in university and I can still be myself. How did I ended up getting a scholarship without being a burden to my family. How people were always so nice to me although I am not a nice person. How my mother survived one illness after another. My mother is a weak woman with a strong faith in God. She often prayed to Him to shower me in Jesus Christ's blood. Despite all the bad things that happened to her, she continuously prayed to God every morning and night without fail. This is faith. My mother may not be the most intelligent woman in the world, but she definitely has faith more than some of the most intelligent people in the world, and that is what makes her so loved and blessed by God.
I begin to believe the existence of God more and more each day. I remembered once a friend of mine asked me that how did I manage to see the world so innocently and believed that every person is good even though I had been hurt and let down so many times. I did not know that time, but now I know. The God, in the form of Holy Spirit was at my side at all times. Because of His presence, I did not stop believing in goodness in life and not giving up on people around. In every single person, there is always a good deep down inside. Believe this. Jesus believed that and that is why He is willing to sacrifice His life to save us. He did not give up on us.
Christianity is a beautiful religion. Now, I am not trying to belittle other religions (the reason why I do not touch other religions here), but rather, expressing my testimony on Christ here. I hope that He will continue glorifying my life and continue staying on my side.
So,
Never stop believing in Jesus. This is what I got from the Praise and Worship night which I went yesterday. Once we turn away from Him, that is when He is no longer by our side. From there, we stray away and become lost in darkness.
**phew!! What a long post.**
Good ... Student? What is missing?
For this semester, I am actually being placed in a situation where every single thing that I do was literally questioned. There are actually much more people having an eye on me than I thought. And all this while I was thinking I am just one insignificant university student in a campus with a population of 3000++ students.
Let me see...what am I to myself? Let's make a list here.
1) Playful girl who loves having fun
2) A scholarship holder who fears losing her scholarship (though with such low requirements it is difficult to lose it to be honest)
3) A daughter whose family puts high hopes on
4) A daughter who holds a much bigger responsibility than she thought she knew
5) An all-average engineering student whom people either misunderstood as "intelligent" or "incapable". Note the ironic difference. Don't judge me. I am only average.
6) A chubby adult who has the face of a teenager (people ask me whether I am taking foundy what...if I don't look young then what? =p)
7) Someone so ordinary that people will not take notice and actually take me as a gossip topic.
I do not wish to list out what others think of me because clearly, they are not true and these people have nothing else better to do. Nah, this post is about me, not them. What for I deteriorate their personality here? People talk about each other all the time.
What have I miss out here?
I have:
1) Friends.
2) Average results (can pass enough liao la...).
3) ENOUGH money to survive.
4) New keyboard cover (finally replacing the one he gave muahahahahahaha).
5) I get to go to Brunei and Borneo Jazz. What's left is KK. Meh. Supposed to go but end up not going. Sad case.
What do I actually miss out here?
Faith.
My faith towards him is not strong enough and is constantly tested again and again this semester. There are many things that happened which I am thankful to Him. It is because if He was not there to watch me, I could have been in grave danger which I do not want to mention. All these that happened to me made me believe in Him stronger than ever.
So, I shall not aim to be a good chemical engineering student. I shall aim to be a good Christian chemical engineering student. Cheers for me kay??
Let me see...what am I to myself? Let's make a list here.
1) Playful girl who loves having fun
2) A scholarship holder who fears losing her scholarship (though with such low requirements it is difficult to lose it to be honest)
3) A daughter whose family puts high hopes on
4) A daughter who holds a much bigger responsibility than she thought she knew
5) An all-average engineering student whom people either misunderstood as "intelligent" or "incapable". Note the ironic difference. Don't judge me. I am only average.
6) A chubby adult who has the face of a teenager (people ask me whether I am taking foundy what...if I don't look young then what? =p)
7) Someone so ordinary that people will not take notice and actually take me as a gossip topic.
I do not wish to list out what others think of me because clearly, they are not true and these people have nothing else better to do. Nah, this post is about me, not them. What for I deteriorate their personality here? People talk about each other all the time.
What have I miss out here?
I have:
1) Friends.
2) Average results (can pass enough liao la...).
3) ENOUGH money to survive.
4) New keyboard cover (finally replacing the one he gave muahahahahahaha).
5) I get to go to Brunei and Borneo Jazz. What's left is KK. Meh. Supposed to go but end up not going. Sad case.
What do I actually miss out here?
Faith.
My faith towards him is not strong enough and is constantly tested again and again this semester. There are many things that happened which I am thankful to Him. It is because if He was not there to watch me, I could have been in grave danger which I do not want to mention. All these that happened to me made me believe in Him stronger than ever.
So, I shall not aim to be a good chemical engineering student. I shall aim to be a good Christian chemical engineering student. Cheers for me kay??
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