Watched and rewatched 500 Days of Summer at different phase of life. I did not like it previously because it strayed away from the happily-ever-after usual. I like it currently though, because it reflects a part of growth in our lives.
We have been Tom before. Undeniably, we were also Summer. Let me jot down what I thought about both of these characters and why we could be either one of them, or both in many cases.
1) Tom
Someone who believed in true love and The One, which was greatly influenced by skewed idealism of a movie and pop songs. Someone who was in denial and often brushed off the bad things in life so that they remain happy by focusing only on the good things. Someone who believed in fairy tales and going against all odds so that he could finally reap the reward - together. And Summer fitted all these perfectly in his book. Why?
Summer was very beautiful.
Summer did not believe in love.
Summer was adventurous and daring. She brought out the dreamer side in him.
Summer constantly reminded him that they were never exclusive for each other.
Sounds familiar? It was similar, if not identical to fairy tales and hopelessly romantic novels. Two people who were completely opposites and were not supposed to be together due to internal or external issues, but ended up together anyway despite all odds. Like Romeo and Juliet (they died together so it counts), who were not supposed to be together because of societal pressure. Then again, how well did Romeo and Juliet knew each other? How sure were they in love? They just knew they were attracted to each other and they wanted to be together, against all odds. This was what was instilled into Tom's fragile mind. Romance, and happily ever after. Summer had the "not exclusive" barrier and Tom decided that it would be him to break the barrier, and who knows, one day the barrier will be broken and they would end up together. Very romantic. Besides, someone shy as Tom were taken aback by Summer's advances, which perhaps was never experience before. Similar to a pampered princess who never experienced adventure until she met a peasant. A great modern fairy tale to write on, except it was not a fairy tale in reality.
We were like this.
It took Summer and heartbreak for Tom to realize that love did not happen like fairy tales. We have to work for what we want. What if Tom was more assertive and made the call in their relationship? What if Tom went for his calling and decided to be an architect because he knew that was what he was good at? What if Tom was more confident in himself and made it clear with Summer from the start that it was either labels or nothing? What if Tom man up and told Summer he wanted to be with her as his boyfriend when she asked him whether he liked her or not?
Would it make any difference? Perhaps Summer would still reject Tom regardless. But at least there was a closure from the start, and therefore there would not be a need of 500 days so that he could finally see Autumn (pun intended).
But.
We never know. And this is life. Full of uncertainties. And opportunities seldom come twice. So we either wait for the opportunity, or we create it.
2) Summer
Summer was one screwed up individual. She was a confused lost puppy, who did not have a good childhood to begin with due to her parents' divorce at her very tender age. As a result, she created a barrier in her heart to prevent anyone from hurting her.
Somehow she believed in love though, as much as she denied it even from the start. Her previous relationships and how she mentioned "life" when Tom asked about how her relationships ended. There was a melancholic look in her eyes, indicating that as much as she loved her exes, they did not end well. It was probably because she did not want them to end at the very first place.
Throughout the course of the series, it was clear that Summer was attracted to Tom, and still attracted to him even after she was married. We could see that Summer tried. It was pretty obvious when a girl opened up her vulnerability to a man. Sadly, Tom did not, I repeat, DID NOT listen to her. What a woman wants in a man is for him to listen to her. Tom did not truly get to know her as a person inside out. Perhaps this was why Summer would never be sure of him.
So she did get married in the end. Was the marriage happy? Perhaps. Was Summer happy? I personally do not think so. She was hung up with "what if" with Tom so hard for her to wait for him at his favourite spot. Good for Tom because he finally had his closure. But good for Summer? No happily married woman would wait for her ex-fling at his favourite spot and held his hand after. Was Summer impulsive when she married the man? Perhaps. Perhaps she was brought upon the idea of love by Tom so much that she carried it with her and married herself to a man who asked her about the book. It could be Summer who ended up in love with the idea of love because of Tom's influence, not so much on the man himself.
I realized a pattern of insecure people. They would very much push away someone they deeply cared a lot about, in fear of getting hurt in return. Summer was one of them. She was impulsive and acted without thinking beforehand. Then when she stopped and thought back she decided to protect herself by fending off the people who made a huge impact in her heart. She was hurt before, and she would not allow herself to be hurt anymore.
I was both Tom and Summer. Not that I was exactly them, but there were pretty much similar in both aspects.
From this movie and my experiences though, I learned that love was not enough to keep a marriage. Love was never enough to keep two people together. There were too many things to consider, especially when we are looking for lifetime commitment. For those seeking thrill and excitement, go ahead and date as many as you want.
So, which one are you? :)
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